Missing my Granny and Papa a little extra tonight, so I figured I would try and write out my feelings. I’m currently staring at my wall thinking: “How can I possibly explain all that they are in just one blog post?” Well, I’m really not sure that I can. But I am going to try my best. Here it goes.
My grandparents are single-handedly the two most important people to have ever been in my life. I cannot even begin to put into words the love that I have for them.
They have been gone for 8 years now, and oh man, does it feel like a lifetime. When you grow up in a family as close as mine, you get so used to everyone just being there all the time. You don’t actually prepare yourself for the day that one of them is no longer with us. I really wish I had prepared myself for what ended up being my worst nightmare come true.
I was 15 years old when my grandparents passed away. Papa first and 17 short days later, Granny. A very small amount of time for such a substantial amount of loss. To say the healing process was difficult is an understatement. I was in no way ready to lose them. But then again, I don’t think you ever can be.
I am thankful to have the family that I do, otherwise, I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it. There is an upside to having such a huuuggeee family, and being in my family is knowing what love is and how it feels. In both good times and bad. Shout out to the best family in the world. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we are truly blessed to have had them in our lives.
I miss them so much. Some days it just hits you really hard and you have to figure out how to cope with it. It’s never easy. And here I am again having difficulty putting this into words… If only Heaven had a mailbox…
I miss your SMART. ASS. MOUTH. (Excuse the language, but if you knew my Papa, you would know that’s exactly how to describe him. He always had something to say. He knew exactly how to make you laugh out loud, while you were questioning yourself all at the same time.) I miss having the most random conversations with you while you sat in your old, squeaky chair, just-a-rocking. I miss your big ole glasses and your big ole ears. I miss your t-shirts – always with a pack of cigarettes in the pocket – and how you constantly wore a plaid flannel, no matter the season. I miss your laugh, although I sometimes find myself forgetting what it sounds like. I miss you yelling at me 10 minutes into me being at your house “SPAZZ, YOU DIDN’T KISS YOUR PAPA”, even though I did as soon as I walked in the door… I miss being called Spazz. For the longest time, it was the only real nickname I had ever had and I cherish it so much, you have no idea. (He gave all of the grandkids nicknames, and he ONLY called us by our nicknames.) I miss your hugs. I miss your presence, even though I still feel it from time to time. I really miss you.
I miss your astonishing, beautiful face. I miss sitting across from you at the kitchen table and annoying you constantly. I miss you saying “Oh, Lord” and rolling your eyes whenever I walked in the door. I miss your soft skin. I miss getting the BEST back scratches in the wooorrrllllddd!!! I miss hearing your sweet, sweet laugh whenever I would kiss you all over your face. I miss lying in bed with you and watching Westerns. I miss seeing you rave over how much you love flowers, butterflies, and hummingbirds. I miss our all girl baking days. I miss your ADORABLE pouty face when you would pretend to be mad. I have seen ALL of your daughters do this, by the way, and they look just like you when they do. I miss playing with your silky hair. I miss your unbeatably delicious cooking. I miss your pure and loving heart and your incredibly kind soul. I miss having a real life angel here on Earth with me. I miss your hugs. I miss your presence, even though I still feel it from time to time. I really miss you.
I can honestly say that these two people have shaped me into the person I am today and I am blessed to have grown up with them as my grandparents. Although I would do just about anything to have them back here with me, I know that they are in a better place, together, just waiting to greet me when my day comes. Although I could go on about them forever, I’m going to wrap it up here.
To the brightest lights of my life and the greatest souls this Earth has ever known, I love you, and I cannot wait until the day that I get to see you again.
“Grandparents prepare you for life’s greatest gains. Little did they know they would be their grandchildren’s biggest loss.”